Wasn’t 2020 the best year to change? What better reason to set your priorities straight than the year the world pandemic started?
What did you resolve to start doing last year? Did you start sourdough baking? Did you start meditating? Did you start your own business? Did you start valuing your health more? Did you go for all your annual checkups? Did you exercise more? Did you take up yoga? Did you start reading more? Did you call your family and friends more? Did you learn a new IT skill? Did it last until 2021? Are you able to continue doing to what you set your mind to?
If yes, good for you.
If not, I hear you. Do you wonder why it is not working out for you? Do you wonder why some people succeed and you do not? Do you wonder what they do differently than you?
The answer might surprise you. The answer is actually super easy. It is all in perception. Whaaat?
It is all in perception. It is how we perceive change. Do you say you MUST change your diet? Do you say you MUST exercise? Do you say you MUST engage more on social media if you want to build a successful business? Do you say you MUST meditate to calm down? Notice the pattern. It is soooo difficult to change when the change is forced. It is soooo difficult to change if we HAVE TO restrain ourselves.
What if, just for the sake of an argument, before you decide you MUST change, you actually stopped for a moment and thought about what it was that you really wanted.
Let me give you an example: People say you MUST meditate to calm down. So when people say it, it must be true. You start and you realize that your thoughts are running like crazy and you can’t seem to get ahold of them. People say when your thoughts start running, just start over. So you start over and over again and it is just not working. Now you start thinking why meditation isn’t working for you. How come everyone does it and you can’t seem to grasp the idea?
If you stopped for a moment and inquired what it is that you really want, you might actually find out that meditation may not be for you at the moment. You actually calm down much more when you go out for a run.
Let me give you another example: You realize that you are an emotional eater. You MUST change your habit otherwise you will never face your true issues and on top of that you may end up fat. Just thinking about changing this habit is making you anxious.
If you stopped for a moment and inquired what it is that makes you actually want to reach for that extra cookie or go to a fast food restaurant, you may realize what your true issue is. You may find out that you usually eat when you’re stressed out from work deadlines and you feel you’re behind.
Let me give you one more example: You want to stop smoking. You MUST stop smoking. It is just bad for you. You are having a really hard time because some members of your family smoke, some of your friends smoke, some of your colleagues smoke. When you are stressed, you just go for that cigarette.
If you stopped for a moment and inquired what it is that is actually making you go for that cigarette, you may find out that it is just a social addiction and you actually don’t like the taste of cigarettes.
It is all about perception. It is all about how you perceive your truth about the particular habit. When you look deep down, you may find out the actual reason why something is not for you at the moment, or why something isn’t working out for you.
I know, easier said than done. BUT practice makes perfect J The more you are mindful of everything you do, do more you do it, the easier it gets.
Dr. Jud Brewer’s research inspired me to write this article.
No Comments